Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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