You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
