we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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