is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize