dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Randomize