my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize