New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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