I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize