Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize