eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
