this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
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All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.