Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird