if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!