The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My balls are so social today.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.