were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize