just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize