who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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