Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I want her autograph on my taint
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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