I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was like eating out sand paper
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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