I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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