i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting