nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.