i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You did what with his pubic hair?
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