Whod you bang
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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