its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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