i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
