Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am