i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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