You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
