hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
