She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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