youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
