There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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