I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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