Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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