Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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