so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
