that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.