Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.