Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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