He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm not coming to work today because tequila