I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize