is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
being pregnant is like rehab
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize