we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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