If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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