all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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