I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
