yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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