well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize