Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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