Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize