Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize