I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
