I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
