I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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