ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
