end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize